As a designer, I tend to be very particular about the things that I see as beautiful. In my own home, I confess I love things to look contemporary and fresh and just-so. I love rotating new items into my existing decor. I quickly get rid of things that look dated or worn. However, I have recently had the pleasure of reading two wonderful, albeit very different books, that have greatly challenged and broadened my view of aesthetics.
The first book, called “The Wabi-Sabi House,” addresses what the author (Robyn Griggs Lawrence) refers to as “the Japanese art of imperfect beauty.” She states, “The subtle messages that live within wabi-sabi are the things we all seem to long for today: Slow down. Take the time to find beauty in what seems ordinary – and to turn the “ordinary” into something beautiful. Make things yourself instead of buying those spit out by a machine, and smile when your work is flawed. Wash your dishes by hand, and most important: learn to think of others before yourself.” Wabi-sabi finds beauty in things that are old, natural, broken, simple and earthy. I must say, it is a challenge for me to find beauty in old things. I love new trends and styles and experimenting in my home. I am not sentimental or much of a collector. I have five children and often value efficiency over, well…basically everything! However, I am stretching myself by attempting to slow down and find beauty in unexpected places, while incorporating small touches of imperfect and meaningful beauty at the same time.
The second book by Nate Berkus, “The Things That Matter,” thoughtfully covers the idea of filling your home with items that carry personal history and significance. He opens the first page by sharing, “I’ve always believed your home should tell your story…Those cuff links? They belonged to somebody I loved: we picked them out on one of the most perfect days we ever spent together. That tortoise shell on the wall? There was one exactly like it in my mother’s house and I can’t see it without thinking about a thousand inedible family dinners. Each object tells a story and each story connects us to one another and to the world. The truth is, things matter. They have to. They’re what we live with and touch each and every day. They represent what we’ve seen, who we’ve loved, and where we hope to go next. They remind us of the good times and the rough patches, and everything in between that’s made us who we are.” I love this! And while this may come quite naturally to some people, this concept has given me quite a bit to think on. My family has never valued THINGS very much, which is both positive and negative. While we are not tied to our possessions, we also don’t have any family heirlooms that exchange hands or generations. I have purchased every single thing in my home…no gramma’s rocking chair, mother’s cookbooks, dad’s tools, nothing! This honestly makes me a bit sad, but also determined to do things differently for my children. I have started purchasing (or keeping) something special for our home every time we travel: horse hair pottery from South Dakota, my husband’s first emptied out clam shell from Maine, a wooden manatee to remind us of the one that chose to swim with us in Florida. When my gramma passed away, I carefully elected to save a jade letter opener that reminded me of her (I never knew anyone who actually used a letter opener to open letters)!
While I still openly profess my love for all things new, I am also committed to expanding upon what I have traditionally viewed as beautiful, and to looking through an object into its past. I am looking forward to owning THINGS that matter, things that will one day cause my children to re-tell my stories to their children. And I eagerly anticipate the lessons that I know will come…as I learn to find perfection in imperfections.